I saw this photo the other day and it made me think of how often we see the word forgive or forgiven. “I forgive you”, “Will you forgive me” or “I have forgiven you.” The word FORGAVE made me feel happy.
I have always found it easy to forgive others. Growing up as the middle child, I liked being the peacemaker, it came naturally.
I’ve experienced many nurturing, loving relationships in my life and also some challenging ones. It was the challenging ones that gave me the greatest lessons.
Some lessons in forgiveness were heart-wrenching. In the end all of them helped me expand my heart by seeing the other person’s point of view.
How did I do it? By staying present and owning my part in the success and or failure of each relationship, these life experiences helped to catapult me to a higher level of consciousness and a healthier version of my current self.
Honestly how can we get upset when a friend, co-worker, partner, spouse or child; doing their best, do something to upset us? Realize that each soul has its own path and its own journey to evolve and each person is right where they should be for them.
Is it possible to forgive too quickly? My friends have said that I do and that I shouldn’t be so quick to make amends but I would rather risk looking a fool and working towards forgiveness, than staying the victim stuck in the past, unable to authentically and gratefully, enjoy life in the present.
Life gives us many opportunities to forgive or not. Gandhi got it right when he said:
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
How can we learn to forgive? We can start by owning our part when something happens. Then to do our best to see the person and situation through the eyes of compassion. When we see with compassion we are coming a loving space where healing is possible.
By owning our part and naturally look within, the ability to forgive our selves will be revealed or not. If we cannot forgive our selves, we will have a very challenging time forgiving others. It is a common scenario to hold our self to such a high standard of being perfect, that we fall short in our own eyes.
Although we know at a deeper level that our current thoughts of inadequacy are not true, by staying on this path our resistance is lowered until we no longer have the strength to argue with them. This depressed way of thinking eventually seeps into the way we interact with others, preventing us from the clarity needed for resolution and forgiveness.
It is vital to our health and the health of our relationships that we find positive solutions to our feelings of anger, resentment and self-pity. These negative thoughts can become ingrained and as my husband says,
“Without the fantasy, there is no fairy tale”
So instead, we stay stuck in the past and this thinking requires a ton of energy that instead could be used for good. Just think about all you’ll gain by moving forward and all you will gain by creating a healthy sense of self.
So begin by loving yourself today, perceived shortcomings and all. Inhale compassion and exhale the ideas of perfection. Let it become possible for you to come down from the high pedestal you put yourself on long ago.
Let go of the hurt, the baggage and the pity and replace it with love, compassion and strength and move on.
And when someone does something that you feel is wrong, you’ll find that place and the space within your happy healthy, compassionate heart, and you’ll be able to say “I forgave” 🙂
It will feel so good!
Karin xx
Epic Life Yogi 